Tuesday, January 19, 2010

To fly or not to fly?

Ok, so I am going to a gig in Madison in February, and I have chosen to fly. The one major perk about flying is the fact that you don't have to worry about driving, at all...unless you count driving to the airport in a panic, hoping you will make your flight.

I have flown quite often the past year in order to make it to auditions in New York City. In the past, my flights to New York have been rather uncomplicated, and actually quite relaxing. However, my first trip in November turned out to be two of the worst flights I've ever been on in my life.

Flight One:

Let's start with the flight to NYC...from Midway airport in Chicago. I was sitting in the terminal, reading, when an airplane pilot sits down and begins to talk to me.

You would think it would be obvious that reading = don't talk to me, however, people at airports don't really think that way.

So, he goes on to ask me why I'm flying to New York. I hesitate to even tell the truth, because once I told him I was a singer on the way to auditions, he responds, "Oh wow! Really? Will you sing something for me?!?!"

This is another topic that I will leave for another day, but it's one of the worst things to ask a singer when they are off the clock....AT AN AIRPORT. I told him no, but of course he continues to bother me. It isn't until I start to get short with him that he finally gets the message and leaves.

Now, on to the flight. I take a seat towards the back, since that is the typical protocal for boarding a plane. I sit in the window seat, waiting to others to sit down. A rather smelly guy decides to sit in the aisle seat.

The smelly guy is not why the flight was bad.

A mother, with a toddler and 8 year old, is distressed because there are only single seats left. Therefore, her son has to sit with *gasp* a stranger. Let me remind you that there is early seating for families, but you actually have to be there on time to take advantage of this.

Since I obviously look like a child molester, there is no way that she'll allow her son to sit in between me and the smelly man. Smelly man decides to be so kind as to give up his seat. So, guess who I'm stuck sitting with....

That's right. 2 1/2 hours with the mother, toddler, and eight year old boy. If I had known that the husband was also on the plane, I would have moved as well.

Here are some fantastic moments, in no particular order:

1. The eight year old taunting his toddler sister, causing her to yell bloodcurdling screams.

2. The eight year old getting out a portable dvd player, and playing it with no headphones.

3. The eight year old getting out a BOP IT.

Yes, I did indeed say a BOP IT. Can it get any worse? I consider myself a patient person, but I have never given so many death stares in my life. You can't really help what a toddler does, but the boy was old enough to know better.

Usually, I bring my headphones. For some reason, I thought that I could read or do something else with my time.

Did I mention that the pilot from earlier, was also on this flight? He was finished with his day, and flying back to NYC. The moment he sees me on the plane, he says, "Hey, Opera Singer, why don't you sing something for me!?!?!?!"

He asked this at the end of the flight...right after the Bop It.

......this was my flight to NYC.

Just wait til you hear about the return flight.

1 comment:

Sara said...

My face was contorting into irritated disgust for you.

First of all, no one but another singer can understand this, but being asked to just stop what you're doing and sing a little ditty in a public place is so obnoxious I can barely stand it.

I mean, I don't sit down next to a guy, learn he's an accountant and then say, "Oh yeah? Do my taxes!"

And a Bop It? In the words of Lindsay Kerrigan Medina, "Inappropriate."